Thoughts – Page 5 – By the River

2020-12-262020-12-31

Christmas Tears and Hope

Christmas season at Toronto Eaton Centre
© 2019 Charles Dunlevy

I suppose I am a survivor. At times I wonder why I am still here. Other times, I am thankful to be here. One of the hardest times of the year for me is Christmas. Christmas is a time to be with family. It is a time to show love to your loved ones and celebrate the birth of Christ (if Christian) or the madness which is Santa Claus (secular).

My immediate family here in Canada are no longer here. They have gone to a better place I am sure. I am here all alone and am reminded of the situation every year around Christmas. I usually receive several invites to be with my friends and their families. I appreciate their kindness, but can’t help feeling awful seeing everybody enjoying the season with their families while I have none.

I always hear the tired old saying from my friends, “we are your family.” While I appreciate the sentiment and consider my closest friends my “brothers”, it still does not make up for the fact that I no longer have an immediate biological family. The pain is real and I tend to mask it each and every year.

I try to be happy for my friends because I don’t want them to feel down because of my plight. I try to be happy for my Mom because I don’t want her looking down on me from Heaven and crying because her baby boy is all alone.

I have two brothers in particular who, while not biologically related, might as well be. I have known these guys for most of my life and have always been a part of their extended family. I usually spend my Christmas at their sprawling estate. This year, it pained me to tell them and the family that I will be staying home this year due to the pandemic.

Being home alone on Christmas has its ups and downs. This might be considered manic depressive if analysed. On one hand, I enjoy the peace and quiet of being home in my luxurious suite. I am free to listen to whatever music I like. I can drink all the beer I want and eat whatever I crave. Christmas is not a time for dieting. I always tell people during the holiday season to go forth and eat cake, drink, and be merry.

I did just that this year. I had a good time watching movies, playing videos games, eating a LOT of food, drinking a LOT of beer, dancing, and listening to music. Some of my dearest friends contacted me via text and instant messaging. I spoke with two of my brothers and one of my lovely sisters on the phone. I rarely use the phone, but these three people are so dear to me I had to call them.

At times I found myself feeling happy, then sad. I heard from friends who although they were with their families, felt depressed due to the ongoing pandemic and how it has impacted everyone. I reassured them that this year is a blip on the radar and next Christmas will be bigger than ever.

I usually spend Christmas Day with my extended “family” at their mansion, and the days surrounding Christmas dining and dating my lovely ladies, or drinking with the guys. This year I could not do any of this. I found myself living vicariously through movies and video games.

I miss my biological family like you wouldn’t believe. I will never stop shedding tears for them. I am thankful for my close friends and brothers. I love my lovely ladies and look forward to seeing them again once it is safe to travel around the globe or the city.

I find that music and beer offer me an escape from the realities that afflict me. I catch a rhythm, cannot remain still, and start dancing and singing. I have been listening to a wide variety of songs this weekend…. classic house, Korean ballads, soulful house, garage house, Afro house, tech house, classical piano, Korean trot, Nigerian Afrobeats, and traditional Yoruba music.

I sit here by my big, beautiful, bay window looking out over a vast city that nobody can enjoy during the pandemic. I think, maybe I should end this misery and pain by flying out the window… maybe not. I look outside and see a world that I will be enjoying again in no time. I see a world that needs my presence. There are several wonderful women in my life who would start World War 3 if something were to happen to me. They and my brothers give me hope and strength.

Side story: I am sitting here with two laptops and two smartphones, wearing my computer nerd glasses, listening to Yoruba music, drinking Boneshaker IPA, and writing these thoughts. I think I should post this and then contact a few choice friends.

Be safe and Merry Christmas.

2020-12-23

Pandemic Pounds

Since many of us are spending a lot of time at home these days, we tend to be gaining weight. Fortunately for me, I gained a bit of weight during the first few months of the pandemic before starting to up my home exercise game.

Our condo gyms have been closed seemingly forever. They were allowed to open for a brief period this past summer on an appointment basis where only you or who lives in your suite may access during a 1-hour block of time. This lasted all of a couple of weeks before the provincial government shut them down again.

I booked my time at the gym but quickly found that it was not worth it. They had removed the free weights which I use for most of my training. They also removed the medicine and stability balls, plus yoga mats.

After working out on the Hoist machines and the treadmill, I decided to purchase a few items for the home. I did not want to clutter my suite so I abstained from ordering a full weight set. I ordered a set of resistance bands, resistance loops, and stability ball.

Since that day, I have been working out in the safety of my suite doing crunches, push-ups, boxing, running on the spot, and hundreds of exercises using the equipment I purchased. I started to register weight loss but not at a rate I was hoping for. I then realized this was due to the shear muscle mass I have been putting on. The fat is melting away and the muscle is not just being maintained as planned, but it is growing.

I may just write some posts illustrating various exercises I have learned. Every time I use the stability ball I find a different way to benefit from it… and the best thing is that every single thing you do with the ball works your core muscles.

The end of the pandemic is upon us and there is no reason to not get some exercise in a safe manner which does not jeopardise you or anybody else. Stay safe and get jacked. Fun times are ahead.

2020-12-19

Post Pandemic: West Africa

Dotun55, CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Since I have a lot of free time on my hands when I am not working or studying, I have been planning my post-pandemic excursions. My planned return to my second home in East Asia is no secret. My plan to visit West Africa may come as a surprise to some. Those who know me are not surprised in the least.

West Africa is home to a large part of my ancestry. In fact, I have estimated 2/3s of my ancestry is from West Africa. As a child of Jamaican parents, I truly understand the meaning of the Jamaican motto, “Out of Many, One People”. The African side of Jamaican ancestry can be traced primarily to West Africa, mainly present-day Nigeria and Ghana.

As Jamaican dancehall, reggae, and Nigerian Afrobeats continue to tear up the charts worldwide, it is high time for me to go “home.” I have built quite the connection to my ancestral homeland and they are calling me to come home.

I look forward to visiting the land of Hi Life music, Afrobeats, Afrobeat (plural, a different genre made famous by the late Fela Kuti in Nigeria), Jolloff rice… originating in Senegal, West Africa, and spread throughout the region… nowadays we have a friendly rivalry between Ghana and Nigeria over who makes the best Jollof rice.

I cannot wait to explore the mountains in West Africa, enjoy the music and BBQ on the beaches, and the hustle and bustle of shopping in the markets. The incredible Nollywood film industry has me dreaming of visiting my ancestral lands.

West Africa, a region comprising of the ECOWAS economic block, is a future world powerhouse economically. It’s citizens are very industrious and entrepreneurial. West African students can be found all around the world excelling at the most prestigious universities.

The West African region consists of 15 nations totalling well over 360 million people. Nigeria is the most-populated nation in the region with over 200-million inhabitants. Nigerians are known to own some of the most prestigious real estate in London, UK.

The most well-known tribes in West Africa are the Yoruba, Akan, Igbo, Hausa, Wollof, and Mandingo. Studies have shown that the majority of slaves brought to Jamaica during the maafa (African Holocaust, aka Atlantic Slave Trade), were from the Akan peoples from present-day Ghana, and the Igbo people from present-day Nigeria. There were also Mandingo, Yoruba, Hausa, and others.

If one examines the Jamaican patios language, you will find Igbo, Akan, and Yoruba words. Jamaica truly is a melting pot of cultures.

After the pandemic, I will be touring West Africa and for business and leisure. I may have been born in Canada, but my roots are also Jamaican, West African, Iberian, and Middle Eastern.